Hall & Oates - Family Man

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 01/10/2017 at 16:42 • Filed to: None

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I can’t decide if this is the greatest music video of all time, or the worst.

Just kidding. This is the actual worst:

Wacko > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/10/2017 at 16:53

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why do you hate oppo?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Wacko 01/10/2017 at 17:03

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Because I destroy every good thing I have going for me.

Mattbob > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/10/2017 at 17:07

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dude, wtf. That second one is soooo painful.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/10/2017 at 17:29

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Here’s Rush, with Randomly Floating Around a Warehouse Time Stand Still!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Mattbob 01/10/2017 at 17:41

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If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/10/2017 at 17:49

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And now Asia, with “Literally Visualizing Every Lyric”

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/10/2017 at 17:55

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Not to be outdone, I offer you Rush again with Cruise Missiles are the Same Thing As Bombs, Right?, from the album Environmentalism of the Cold War, featuring Slim Pickens Kid

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/10/2017 at 18:04

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Top this.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/10/2017 at 18:09

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How to descibe... well, it’s like a ‘70s local PBS affiliate knockoff of Matlock had a musical number that was directed by the same “random bits of the band doing random things” guy as directing the video for Deep Purple’s Perfect Strangers .

As to topping that, I dunno, but I do have a standout in WTF:

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/10/2017 at 18:53

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Scene opens upon an atomic alarm clock waking up a band member in drag. Freddie Mercury then proceeds to prance about and do housework in a miniskirt before opening the closet. From this point on the video slowly devolves into a vaguely sexual David-Bowie-esque fever dream.